As a woman quite fond of making grown men squeal like little schoolgirls who just received a lifetime supply of Tootsie Roll Pops, rimjobs are one of my favorite sexual activities. However, they didn’t always appeal to me. Like most heterosexual women, when the subject of rimjobs came up early on in the development of my sexual repartee, I would suddenly catch a case of the “yucks” causing me to appear as though someone had just dropped a pair of skid-mark covered tidy whities onto my dinner plate.
Luckily, I learned young that the best resource for a woman, where the male body is concerned, is a gay friend. So, I went to my gay gurus and asked if rimjobs were really that big a deal for a guy. Their response was an explosion of laughter. I took that as a “yes.”
After many hours discussing the finer points of analingus, I must admit, I felt a little dirty. It wasn’t anything I had ever thought I would actually want to do, but you just never know about these things. Every now and then you meet that special person who makes you want to roll them over and stick your tongue up their ass…that’s just how it goes, right?
The problem that arises for me, however, is that the men I am attracted to aren’t usually the types who will willingly offer up their ass for anyone. I tend to gravitate to solvent heterosexual alpha males, and for the most part, until I come along, having their salad tossed isn’t something they’ve ever felt really comfortable with. Getting them to let their guard down enough to admit wanting something soft and wet to probe their tight little virgin holes seems like a daunting task, but I’ve learned it isn’t as difficult to achieve as one might think at the outset.
Truth be told, the most exciting part for me is making the man want it enough to beg for it. There is nothing that will make a woman feel more powerful than having a big, tough, straight man bucking his hips off the bed and spreading his legs wide open as if preparing for a Brazilian butt wax. In order to make a man that comfortable with you, however, you have to do the work and put in the effort. It’s fairly easy to do, but the process cannot be rushed. It takes time.
When taking on the responsibility of giving a man his first rimjob, there is a tone, an attitude that I like to employ. Instead of being the aggressive sexual maven, I find it’s far more advantageous to be more of an attentive, coquettish, and uber-feminine sex kitten. The theory is quite simple. When dealing with the ass of a straight, dominant man, it’s best to be as soft and feminine as possible. It just makes things easier for them to process.
Discussing rimjobs in advance is not a fun conversation, but it is one that needs to be had regardless of the discomfort. You can go the easy way or the hard way…as for me, I tend to take the route that is easiest on the guy. If you’re unsure about his feelings on the subject, never just come out and say you want to bury your tongue in his holiest of holies. That’s a good way to send him straight into heterosexual man craze. He’ll then find it necessary to prove to you (either through words or actions) that he is not gay and does not want anyone fucking with his asshole, even you, regardless of what his real feelings may be.
The best way to get a man to do something he might otherwise have reservations about is to assure him that his compliance with your request would turn you on more than anything else he could do at that moment. If there is one thing that all men want, it’s to turn on the woman they’re with. It’s a sign of their manhood. It bolsters their ego…and a happy ego makes for a hard cock which makes for a happy girl…so if you stroke a man’s ego, everyone wins!
Trying to dominate him could be soul crushing and libido draining for both parties involved. No one wants that.
If I think I want to broach the topic of rimjobs with a man for the first time, I give myself a few days to build up to it. I find that opening his mind up through suggestion is the best way to go. So, for a couple of days prior to the conversation, I am especially attentive. I get him used to the idea of sitting back and being a little pampered. I shave his face for him (and head if he shaves it). I clip his nails (hands and feet) and take care of any problem spots on them, like sanding off heavy heel calluses. I leave sweet (or progressively dirty) notes in his car or rucksack.
After a couple of days of that kind of attention, I take the next step. I become insatiable sexually, making sure he knows all along that he is the reason for my lascivious urges. A couple of days into Operation Extreme Libido, I start upping the ante. I do everything in my power to keep him worked up all day long. I blow him before breakfast, call his cell around eleven and let him listen to me getting myself off, and then have him call me on his way home from work for some really raunchy conversation. By the time he walks in the door, the bulge in his pants will be leading him straight to me.
This is the point where I begin to plant the seeds of suggestion.
When he comes looking for me, I’ll typically be either in the bedroom or the living room watching porn. I’ll be sure to pick out something with several rimjob scenes. While we watch the movie together, I’ll become very aggressive with him during those scenes. I’ll also make sure that his eyes remain on the movie and let him see that I keep turning back to it as well. This works best with blowjobs because he has to focus on something. If he’s smart, he’ll figure out that the rimjob scenes do it for me. If his aching cock has his brain otherwise occupied, however, it still works as a sort of psychological conditioning.
When the movie is over, I’ll have him take off all his clothes for me and turn around. This is a very important step. When he turns around, I’ll give a deep little sigh or moan and slide my hand slowly over his ass…just the cheeks though. Then I’ll kneel down behind him and quickly give each cheek a little kiss; nothing weird or lingering, just a little slightly parted lip kiss. The guy usually thinks this is pretty odd behavior, so I make sure to do it with some playful charm. That tends to disarm any paranoia or cynicism.
For the next couple of days, I will touch, grab, or stare at his ass every chance I get, making sure he notices. I’ll also compliment it and make little noises of satisfaction every time he bends over or walks past me naked. (Of course, it does help if he has a nice ass to start with!) Soon, he’ll start doing these things on purpose for the ego stroking and because it obviously turns me on. And that is the key. Even more than women want to turn their men on, men want to be desirable to their partners. If a woman makes a man feel wanted—desired in a way that he’s never felt before—he will do almost anything to nurture that lust.
On the night I’ve decided to tell him what I want to do, I will be waiting for him in a very hot shower and tell him to come join me as soon as I hear him in the house. (Although, if I’ve done my job of keeping him turned on all day, he’s going to search me out as soon as he walks in anyway.) When he takes off his clothes and gets into the shower, I’ll kiss him deeply for quite some time. Then I will drop to my knees, making sure the water is hitting him between the shoulders to keep it out of my face and to keep him warm, and take his cock into my mouth.
While I blow him, I will grab both of his ass cheeks in my hands and gently rub them while pulling them apart so the warm water trickles down over his asshole. I won’t touch it though…just let the water work its magic. Because there is no real threat of anything penetrating him, most likely he won’t think anything of it. He’ll just link all the added sensation to the great feeling of the blowjob.
After he’s nice and worked up, I’ll stop and stand back up, grabbing the soap on my way.
I’ll stand directly behind him, with my breasts pushed against his back, while I kiss between his shoulder blades, suck on the side of his neck or nibble his earlobe (depending on height, of course), sliding my soapy hands all over his chest, stomach, and thighs. Then I’ll slide one hand onto his cock and the other onto his hip, moving a little to the side and behind him. I’ll whisper in his ear how much I love his tight ass, continuing to stroke his cock with my soapy hand while letting my free hand slide over one cheek.
I’ll whisper in his ear that I need to kiss his ass and quickly fall to my knees behind him before he has a chance to think about what I’ve said. Even though I could probably work my way between his cheeks at this point and have my tongue up his ass before he knew what was happening, I want him to want me to rim him. I don’t want to sneak in there.
I’ll slowly kiss the cheeks of his ass with an open mouth, sucking and biting a little, the whole time stroking his cock with my hand from behind. I’ll move closer and closer to his asshole and by this time, the guy will usually spread his legs a little bit…knowingly or not. It’s a clear sign that his body wants it, even if his mind can’t quite form the thought yet. At this point though, I don’t want to take advantage of that. I want the words from his mouth. I want him to know what he’s asking for and to be okay with it. And that takes more work.
After we’re finished in the shower, I’ll dry him off and lead him to the bed where we will make out, play around, maybe watch some porn, and just generally enjoy each other without having sex. When he’s all nice and relaxed and appropriately worked up, I’ll make sure he’s laying on his side and crawl up behind him, pressing my body against his from behind and draping my arm over his chest so I can twirl his chest hair in my fingers while I talk to him.
I’ll start off by whispering to him all the things that turn me on about him. And the last thing I will mention is his ass…and I’ll go on about it for a while as I slide my hand down over it, rubbing, caressing, and squeezing it as I talk—using my sweetest, softest, most feminine voice. The key here is to let him know, through my voice, demeanor, and actions that I do not in any way want to dominate him. That is very important. Nothing will make an alpha male shut down quicker than the feeling that a woman is trying to make him her bitch. And in order for him to allow you to toss his virgin salad, he has to know that when he’s in that vulnerable position, you aren’t going to do anything that might surprise him or make him feel out of control.
How you introduce the idea of rimming to your alpha male is crucial. You can’t just blurt out what you want to do. You can’t just look him in the eyes and ask. The very best way to go about it is to act like it’s not something you want to tell him…that it embarrasses you to feel that way. Make it more of a confession than a conversation.
Here’s an example:
Dark room, laying behind him, whispering in his ear while tracing tiny little circles lightly on his hip with your fingernail.
“Baby, I have a confession to make (insert dramatic pause). If I were to tell you about a fantasy of mine, do you promise not to think less of me for it?”
“Of course I won’t think less of you,” he replies in a sincere tone.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m weird or gross,” I’ll whisper barely audibly.
“Tell me. You know I love that side of you!”
“Okay…but please let me finish before you say anything because if you interrupt me I’m not sure I can get the words out,” I’ll softly respond.
Very slowly, and with a little trepidation in my voice, I will tell him. “Well, I’m sure you know by now how much I adore your ass and how fascinated I’ve been with it lately. Now before you freak out, it’s not what you think (because he’s thinking at this moment that you want to bend him over and shove something long and hard inside him…which is also fun, but one step at a time)! I just…I know how great it feels when you…well…when you lick me and kiss me certain places. And it’s really made me want to do the same to you.”
“It would turn me on so much to be able to not just kiss and lick the cheeks, but all of it. It’s really turned into a huge fantasy of mine lately…just the idea of having my tongue inside your tight ass makes me wetter than just about anything else. I can’t even imagine what it would do to me if you chose to let me do it!”
By now, my breathing would become a little labored and my voice, while still feminine and soft, would become more defiant and sure.
“Is that bad, Baby? Do you think less of me,” I would ask while reaching around and beginning to stroke his cock again.
By taking this specific approach to “the conversation,” it takes all the pressure off him. It’s not about him wanting a rimjob and what that might say about him as a man. It’s suddenly about making you happy…sating your sexual needs and desires. Therefore, he doesn’t have to ponder the ramifications of an act like that to his sexuality or think about dominant and submissive roles. And that’s a big deal to some guys. In his mind, his ability to satisfy his mate—to turn you on and get you off—is directly proportional to his masculinity. If giving him a rimjob is all about turning you on, saying no to you would make him feel as though he were less of a man.
He probably won’t say too much right away, but that’s a good thing. It means he is thinking about it, which means it’s gotten past the automatic “no” of his reptilian brain. As soon as you have him thinking, stop the conversation there and move on to something else…preferably incredibly rough sex because the more you let him exert his sexual dominance, the more likely he is to see it as his duty to please you.
After the seed has been planted, I typically give the guy a few days to wrap his head around the idea without even mentioning it or alluding to analingus at all. If I did my job right in the first place, I had his full attention when I brought the subject up previously, and for most, that’s most likely all it will take. But it’s very important not to rush him into a decision because it will not be the response you want if he’s not allowed to come to it in his own time. It’s never a good idea to rush an alpha, but when dealing with his sexuality and his ability to please, forcing an issue is tantamount to sexual suicide.
Leave the subject alone. He will not forget about it. In all actuality, he’ll probably think about it more than you will. He’ll bring it up when he’s ready. And trust me, he will bring it up. Soon! You just need to make sure your tongue is ready to spend an hour or so stretched to it’s limit, fucking his tight asshole when it’s finally offered up.